Hello, I an reaching out for help. I was in an amazing relationship with a woman. She left her husband and I left my wife for her. We were both already wanting to leave them before we met.
We connected on such a great level, we both have a passion for painting, cooking, etc. Last summer i drank too much, and she started to nag at me alot. I was having a hard time finding a good job, and I screwed up.
While looking for a job on her laptop, i fell back into old bad habits of looking at women on craigslist and sending messages to them. I never met with them and I never cheated at all other than in a virtual sense. I didn't logout of my email one day and she discovered them.
I was already partially moved into her house and she kicked me out. We were actually working on things but then she found an old condom in my wallet and emergency money amd thought that i was using it for hookers which is of course not true at all.
She hit me and scratched me really bad. I left and later she came over to my brother's place where I was staying and begged me to come back. At the time i wasn't sure it would be a good idea so I declined. Ever since it has been over.
I started to go through all the phases of wanting her back and i reached out to her. She would text and call me and we would talk but she said it's over. She would try to make me jealous by saying certain things.
After months of trying to get back together with no contact and seeing if she would want to work on it, or start fresh or just simply have a coffee somewhere she has made it clear that she is dating someone and that she will never give me another chance.
I have tried to move on, went on dates, but when i see her pic on facebook and how beautiful she is and how i miss everything about her personality, i find it real hard to give up on her despite everything. The last time we texted a few months ago she said forget about me for a year and then maybe we can be friends.
How can I go about forming a new relationship with her? I'm respecting her space and her new relationship (if it is real, not sure if she is still dating). She was so incredible when we were together, so caring, passionate, and talented and I miss her immensely.
None of the advice I have found online has helped, it has made matters worse. I sent her a letter and poured my heart out. I did no contact. I suggested creative ways of doing things as friends.
I feel so bad for doing what I did, but at the same time I feel like it could have been alot worse, other couples go through more difficult problems and find a solution. I love her so much and cannot see myself happy with anyone else, i know it is possible but I really want to be a strong man for her and form a loving relationship that lasts forever.
Thank you for any suggestions you have and for taking the time to listen and respond.
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