Anonymous Juliet!

by Sam
(Beirut, Lebanon)

Hello, My name is Juliet, and i have a serious love relation problem that seems to be endless.as a start, this relation have been going on for 7 years in total till now, its in and out relation, I' am now 41 years old i was born in (1970), and I have 3 kid, actually 2 adults and a teenager but i have the looks of a 23 years old, (and its something that i my self cant understand, and i never did any lifting surgeries) .. and he is now 26 years old was born in (1985). I cant understand how a relation like this can last all this time, in this strange formula,

It all started in 2004, i was separated from my husband when we met we are both personal trainers, ecstasy was in the air, the minute our eyes met, but for like a few month's we just passed each others without saying a word, then on my last day at that gym we talked and we exchanged mobile no. - we never talked after words.

After one year that (2005), i was shocked to see his name on my mobile calling I answered, and he said that he opened a family business gym, and he wanted me to give Aerobic classes if I have the time, so I said ok Ill set my free time schedule and will see if it fits his needs, and that’s when it all started, And he introduced me to his family and later on we all became good friends, and he met my Kids and friends, and became good friends as well, and they all loved him so, and his family loves me so as well.

After two month we started dating, I didn’t want to take any further steps in the relation cause I was still married but separated, after 7 month's of dating, we had our first night together, and it was magical, the way it still is till now. The next day I didn’t call him, I had a troubled mind, thinking that he is so much younger than me and what the hell am I doing, and after 2 day's he called asking why I’m not calling,

And the minute I heard his voice, all the thoughts just flew away, and we went out again, and the relation entered its second faze, we made love like every where, done crazy things, going out in all the places, train together, spend evening with friends, .. etc. after 5 month we started fighting about silly things, and he started to minimize our dates, and flirt with other girls in front of me, and I have a stubborn mind, so I just turned my back and acted like a Co- worker, the relation stopped, and I left there gym, for a few month, we didn’t see each other , then one day I had to go to there gym, to get some things from there, and i was so upset that day cause of some family problems, and we met, he was alone, and we started a normal conversation, and he noticed that i was upset, so he started asking what is it about, and i told him the problem, and suddenly we started kissing, and made love, and the relation is back again.

Then in summer 2006 there was a war in Lebanon Beirut, ( Israel Attack) and both of us was in a different area, and there was no phone's working, we new nothing about each other, for one month, when the phones started to work a bit and the attacks decreased, he called, asking about us all, and said that he is travelling, and was saying goodbye. after the end of the war, he got back and we saw each other again, and after one month he told me that it's over between us, saying that he is not happy about what people are saying ( that he is in a relation with me and that I'm so much older, and that I have Kids) so we decided to just stop it, and said goodbye to each other, he left me with his brother near the gym, and went out, so we sat in the gym getting drunk then we had a big fight, cause i sat with his brother and we were drunk, he got really angry and was acting crazy we screamed at each other. And again the relation stopped.

After a few weeks, I called him for work reasons, and when we met the usual scenario happened, but each valentine day we have to be in bed together, no gifts no romantic scenes, he just make an excuse to see me so as to end up in bed.

And this soap Opera kept on going on, till end of 2007, when finally it was over... except for 2 or 3 accidental meetings, that ended again by making love, and he attended my birthday's, just as a guest, i used to send him a message in the mid of the party and he would come right away. and during all theses years, when ever I had any kind of trouble or problem, if i called at any time, even it was in the middle of the night he would come running, and if he asked me for any kind of help from me I would do it right away, and all of that ended in bed afterwards.

In the end of 2009 I finally got my divorce, and my friends held a party for me, so i sent him a message... as usual and he came. and was shocked by the news, and i went into a new relation with someone I met during a vacation which was good but not a lasting one, and ended in summer 2010

8 month's passed without us seeing each other at all, but In the end of summer of 2010, some problem happened with my eldest daughter, which made me call him in the middle of the night, and he went out and took care of things and called me back saying its done, and that i should pass by his place, in the morning, and the flash started again, the minute he saw me, mu daughter and my friend were at his place.

He just asked them to go into other room cause he wants to talk with me, and he just came across the room and started kissing me, and we made love, and it all started again, and my shock was when he told me that he was engaged, then he brock up with his fiancé and kept the relation with me, and every thing was much better, the words the attitude the way he shows his love, every thing, after 4 month he started the same attitude of making up things, so as not to see me, then we had a fight, cause of a friend of his trying to harassed me... and we stopped talking.

After like 2 and a half month, I was out with friends and got a bit drunk, so i sent him a message saying ( Fuck You) and he replied, (Thank You Too) the next day i slammed into him while entering a restaurant with friends, and we just looked each other in the eye then said hi, after one week, I intentialy got my self a bit drunk, cause i was thinking a lot of him, and instead of forgetting I called him to say (F*ck You) and he answered on the first ring, and even though I said fuck you more than once he said shut up and answer where are you? ... come I'm with my friends at a pub *** , just come.. I'm waiting, and I went, he just was waiting for me in the streets, he came just hugged me, and introduced me to his friends as if there is nothing, and we sat and talked, then he kissed me. twice during our speaking, and the soap opera is back.

But this time, sex was more passionate than ever and during sex he said he loved me and he denied it the next day...... and once also during sex he said shall we get married, he said it twice on the same night, ,, and he asked me if i want a baby and i said i want yours . and he said i'll give you a baby.....

And now a few days a go he started the usual attitude to break lose for a while,...........

So can you please tell me, what are his thoughts, does he love me or not, are we meant to be, did he really mean it when he said lets get married, ... i want to know what kind of moving floors are we standing on, its strange, but we don’t seem, to give up... especially that as he said .. that during the year that we completely were over .. he went into a relation ... and he was really in love, with her .. but it was her parents that said no, so they had to brake it up, and his fiancé he said he never really loved her, he just felt like getting married, and leaving Lebanon cause she is Canadian.... and beside that he never confessed that we are in a relation, and that he loves me, the only time he said he l called me (Love) me was during sex last month

Awaiting your answer, disparately.

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