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Apr 22, 2015
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How to Know the Truth - 2!
by: Anonymous

I have even talked regarding this with him asking him the reason why he behaves in this way with me and all that he answers every time is by saying that he doesn’t know. It all has happened virtually till now, so I can’t be sure what exactly is going on, on his side but I am dead confused right now.

The only problem that remains with me is he is asking me to come and settle down in his city because he thinks long distance relationships don’t work, but this guy confuses the hell out of me. As mentioned above his oscillating behavior drives me nuts every single time.

I am going to pursue my master’s degree next year and it's going to take me two more years to finally complete my education and settle down at his place. But, I doubt whether I should go and settle down in his city.

Should I spend 2 more years waiting for him and what if he keeps on behaving in this weird fashion in real life too?

I love him with all my heart and even he says that he knows that no girl can ever love him to an extent as much as I love him. I don’t know if he knows that I love him so much, if he likes spending time with me, if he is willing giving me time and care, which a person gives to another in a healthy loving relationship, then why the hell is he not ready to commit with me.

I swear to God that I am ready to wait for him for my entire life, but I want to know if it’s worth waiting or not.

I am sorry to make this post so long, but I really needed to write it down once. I am in this dilemma for so long. I just want to get out of this constant confusion. I have been a very strong sleeper since birth but now, I have lost my sleep completely and I spend every single night either thinking about this or crying myself to sleep.

Now, I would really appreciate, if you can answer few things.

i) He says that we are more than friends, then why does he not accept that he loves me?

ii) He sometimes starts ignoring me for no particular reason, what does this indicate?

iii) He says that nobody can love him as much as I do, then why is he not ready to be in a full fledged relationship with me?

iv) If he doesn’t wants to be in relationship then why does he gets intimate with me virtually every time?

v) Is he using me and playing with my feelings?

vi) I can’t stand by the thought of ignoring him like he does or behaving rudely with him nor the thought of living my life without him. I am overly attached to him and he has become an non detachable part of my life. What should I do to make him understand my feelings, my love, and specially the way I am suffering because of him?

vii) Sometimes I even think that maybe he is ready to be in a relationship but not with me and being truly in love with him I even think of making myself ready to see him be with someone else. All that matters to me is his happiness. How can I know whether the reason why he is not indulging himself with me is because he doesn’t like me the way I like him?

viii) He is perfect and we have an awesome chemistry between us when we talk with each other, but it’s so annoying when he starts treating me like I don’t exist for him. What do you think the actual reason can be behind this?

ix) What is your take on his rapidly changing behavior and having multiple views regarding a single thing whether it is relationship, marriage or being intimately involved with each other?

x) I have a little plump physique. Has my physique got to do anything with his not compelling to be in relationship with me?

xi) I never do makeup or the basic girly stuff, there have be several times when he asked me the reason why I don’t wear basic makeup. I never told him the reason, but my take on this I want a guy to love me in my simplest look. As the saying goes, the one who loves you even at your worst is the one who deserves you at your best. That’s why I don’t believe in wearing even slight makeup. Does my lack of makeup got to do anything with his constant denial for not having interest in me?

xii) Should I continue waiting for this guy who came out of Facebook and occupied a huge part of my real life? Do you see any future? What are the steps that I should now take to get myself out of this mess of confusion and depression?

Thanks a lot...

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Apr 22, 2015
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Is There Really Any Problem?
by: Admin

You provided 12 questions about your love problem to answer. Is this really a problem, or a challenge? You have the answer you asked for in question 11 in the same question, so that is a further indication of the challenge in your request.

As the questions prove that you are smart, you have the intuition to know exactly what to do. This is from a psychological point of view. I can easily smell what you were trying to convey on this request and with the challenge included you provide the knowledge of what to do next.

Thought of the time a person could spend reading, treating and processing the request?

At the first glance I decided to ignore such challenging request, as I don't see a problem. This is as long as you are intelligent to write in a professional way to explain yourself and even include the hints of solution to such problem in the 4 long questions in your request.

* We wrote to you twice. The first letter sent to your email was about that the difference of culture in some demographics is not as huge as the cultural differences between two different demographics. That is to say in your society there shouldn't be a problem of such kind (cultural problem).

You are smart enough to decide the way you want to appear, as the look and feel of your self-ideal reflects upon you and presents a good person that deserves respect to what she believes. The other person seems superficial like, as we said and advised to drop such person.

We also asked to never think of "little plump physique", as that is not the real you. The real you is in the values you have as a good person. You shouldn't be concerned of the other questions about the other persons, as long as he is a superficial likeminded.

Who said love is blind?

You can see the differences, which makes incompatibility in such matter of emotional feeling of yours. From these differences you should know even if you succeeded to marry him, there would be much of problems when you face the realities of life together in the future.

People could change, of course. But, sometimes, cultural differences could develop (and sometimes aggressively) to hard points of view, which makes life as such, a hell.

The magical formula to avoid such problem is in the wisdom you have with all the cultural points of view you have expressed in your letter. So, don't let yourself be fooled of unintelligent feeling of love.

You define a specific value not found anywhere in your society when you (as a woman) go directly to tell the (man) about she feels about him and this manner should be of much inspirational to him, of course if he had the clarity of feeling and thinking at the same time as a person who lives in a modern and a changing world, where women are not second-class citizens.

But, as superficial as he is, he can't see that. So, is the value of your love?

I'll be certainly fragmented to be pieces and gathered, when a woman comes to me to say, "I love you". He should have been a lucky guy to find someone like you in that society. But, as the traditional culture goes, he continues (as ordinary, as he is) with the pretended imagery thought of that society, a man should be the first to express such thing. Thus, women also become second-class citizens, even in love, as if they have not the same feelings of a man.

We are dealing with values here. And love can't prosper without equal perspectives of values shared between two persons.

* Are you from India?

Read and write about your city of birth, or city of residence and upload pictures from it to get some useful gifts at Gujarat, or read and write about your favorite Bollywood Movies.

The gifts are useful to help you discover your hobby, knowledge, passion, any of your personal experiences and any of the things that interest you to build it a successful business on solid grounds, even if you are a student.

Students

Then you'll earn additional income to continue with a solid business, when you graduate. You'll never need to work for a company or somebody else.

* Read love problems with solutions at:

Emotional Problems| Emotional Problems Comments| Incomplete Love Requests| In Love With My Ex| In Love With My Ex Comments| Sentimental Problems| Too Young for Love| Too Young for Love Comments|

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